Aragorn'll make a man out of them
by RodaRolla2
Summary: songfic to I'll make a man out of you on the movie Mulan. Aragaorn tries to make men out of the fellowship and has an exceptionly hard time with Legolas.


I was writing the prologue to "Deliver Us, Pippin!" while listening to 'I'll Make a Man Out of You' from Mulan, and was struck by this plot bunny. This not a cross over but you may notice a few Harry Potter characters

Warnings: A/L Slash, Legolas being referred to as a "daughter", Pippin failing at gym related stuff, fiery arrows hitting a certain dwarf's hind quarters, Sam, Frodo, and Merry terrified of water, Boromir not being able to run fast, Disapproving Gandalf (for those that have seen Mulan, that thin guy whose tent gets blown up, that's who Gandalf supposed to be), Gandalf thing's getting blown up (Seamus Finnigan:*chuckles evilly* Boom Boom. Legolas: Little brother, do not blow his things up. Me: You're blowing his things up not Shay, but you're little brother is going to tutor you in the art of explosions)

Pairing: AragornLegolas

Cast: Shang- Aragorn  
Mulan- Legolas  
Yoa- Gimli  
Chin Po- Merry, Frodo, Sam, Boromir  
Ling- Pippin  
Mushu- Chibi!Seamus Finnigan/Neurion Greenleaf  
Cricky- Chibi!Neville Longbottom  
Chi Fu- Gandalf  
Huns- Orcs/Nazgul  
Shan Yu- Sauron

"We've got a long way to go." Aragorn groaned after watching the other Fellowship members fail to bring back the arrow from the tall pole. Aragorn tossed weapons to the fellowship. They all caught theirs except for the elf; his was caught by the dwarf and knocked down with it.

"Let's get down to business, to defeat the Orcs." Aragorn destroyed two targets with ease and the fellowship gasped. The held their weapons in front of them and said;

"Hoo-ah"

"Did they send me daughters," Aragorn looked at the elf that looked very femine. Pippin snickered as he put a bug of some sort down Legolas' shirt. "When I asked for sons?" Aragorn watched the face the elf made and thought to himself, _'That face is kinda cute… Wait, what am I thinking?'_ The elf was twisting and turning and knocking everyone down. From a nearby tree Seamus Finnigan watched as his older brother made a complete fool of himself. He face-palmed and his best friend Neville Longbottom put a hand on his shoulder.

"You're the saddest bunch I ever met." Aragorn jumped over the hobbits and the dwarf and landed behind the elf, "But, you can _bet_ before we're through," Aragorn took the weapon away from the elf after being hit in the stomach, "Mister, I'll make a man out of you." A small look of fear passed over the elf's face as Aragorn got extremely close to his face and grabbed the front of his shirt.

"Grrrrrrrr." Seamus Finnigan growled as he did the 'rolling up his sleeves for a fight' motion. Neville grabbed him around his chest to prevent him from interfering with the events below. Gandalf shook his head as he made note of the event disapproving of the entire camp, leader, and what not.

"Tranquil as a forest," Aragorn tossed three apples in the air and shot three arrows at one time, each finding their mark on an apple and the apples in the center of three white circles marked on a tree. The fellowship then tried to do that themselves; but failed miserably. Seamus popped out of Legolas' side quiver and stuck an apple on the end of an arrow then quickly retreated back into the quiver.

'_Is this going to help me?'_ Legolas thought.

"But a fire within." Aragorn glared at Legolas. Legolas attempted to smile. _'Okay, I have to admit that his smile is cute. But still, what am I thinking?'_ Aragorn thought.

"Once you find your center," Aragorn deflected all of the rocks thrown at him with his sword, all while standing on the edge of a cliff and having a bucket of water balanced on his head. Legolas traded places with him and nervously looked out at Pippin, Gimli, and Frodo. Pippin and Gimli had this bad look about them as they were about to throw their stones. Frodo had grabbed a small one and had a deciding look about him which gave Legolas a little comfort.

"You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot" Aragorn watched as a look of horror cast of over Legolas' features as they threw their stones at him. He ducked, the water spilt all over him, and the bucket covered his head, but he managed to hit one stone towards Aragorn. Aragorn leaned backwards and sideways, the stone bounced off of Boromir's shield. "And you haven't got a clue." Aragorn glared at the elf. Legolas raised the bucket over his head and looked sadly towards the Ranger. Somehow with the look the elf was giving him, Aragorn couldn't stay mad at him. _'Why, just why can I not stay mad at him?'_

"Somehow I'll make a man out of you." Aragorn pulled a fish out of the water with nothing but his hand. Legolas and Gimli tried that but in the end, Legolas grabbed Gimli's foot. Legolas gently put it down after seeing a confused dwarf blow bubbles in the water. Seamus popped out of the water and handed Legolas a big fish.

"I'm never gonna catch my breath." Boromir panted as he stopped short of being skewered by a flaming arrow in his stomach.

"Say good bye to those who knew me!" Gimli grumbled as he tripped. A flaming arrow suddenly hit his hind quarters. Gimli screamed as he went flying through the air holding his flaming hind quarters.

"Boy, was I a fool for cutting gym." Pippin lamented as he attempted to do a charge at a armored dummy, which he ended up with a black eye, and several missing teeth.

Aragorn and Legolas were hand to hand sparring. Aragorn landed a punch in Legolas' eye.

"This guy's got 'em scared to death." Seamus commented as he wrung a soaking wet towel over Legolas and Neville fanned him.

"Hope he doesn't see right through me." Legolas gulped as Seamus pushed him off the tree.

"Now we really wish we knew how to swim!" Frodo, Sam, and Merry exclaimed as they moved across a very fast river on poles sticking out of the water in the middle of the river.

"Be a Man." The fellowship said as they started to practice shooting catapults.

"You must as swift as the coursing river." The catapults were going everywhere except for the Sauron dummy had been made.

"Be a man." They repeated.

"With all the force of a great typhoon." Aragorn watched in annoyance as they continued to fire without hitting the target. Pippin was whistling as he threw Legolas' catapult out of whack.

"Be a Man." They repeated. Legolas tried in desperation to save the catapult. The catapult fired and exploded in Gandalf's things where it had landed. Gandalf frowned and made another note as part of his beard burned off.

"With all the strength of a raging fire," Aragorn sighed in irritation at these incompetent beings.

"Mysterious as the dark side of the Moon." Aragorn sighed in frustration at the fellowship as he watched them bid each other good night. _'They won't last five minutes against Nazguls or the orcs.'_ He thought bitterly. More so about a certain blonde haired elf that was practically failing every test that was laid out. _'Especially him, He'd probably be the first to go, orcs will kill him, but the Nazguls would turn him into one of them most likely trying to kill him.'_ He thought even more bitterly.

"Time is racing towards us," Aragorn looked at where Gandalf was pointed to see Legolas struggling coming around the bend of the pass. "Till the Nazguls arrive." Aragorn started to make his way back towards Legolas. Legolas collapsed. Seamus and Neville tried to get him up to no avail. They suddenly hid in Legolas' large shirt.

"Heed my every order," Aragorn picked up Legolas' weights and glared at him.

"And you might survive." Aragorn turned around and jogged back towards the others. Legolas bowed his head in shame, anger, and disappointment.

"You're unsuited for the rage of war," Aragorn walked up to Legolas that night in camp leading his white horse.

"So, pack up, go home, you're through." Aragorn shoved the reigns into Legolas' hand and walked away.

"How could I make a man out of you?" Aragorn looked over his shoulder to see the crestfallen elf start to walk away._ 'It's for his own safety.'_ Aragorn reminded himself. Legolas suddenly stopped and looked at the pole with the arrow still at the top. He resolved to give the arrow one last try. He fell a short ways up.

"Be a Man." He reminded himself. He looked at the pole and weights around his wrists and an idea struck him.

"You must as swift as a coursing river." Legolas looped the weights straps together and found the climb up much easier.

"With all the force of a great typhoon." Legolas climbed harder as he saw the dawn. Merry, Frodo, Sam, and Boromir walked out of their tents in awe as they watched Legolas climb the pole.

"Be a Man." Legolas started to sweat and slip but he pressed on.

"With all the strength of a raging fire." Legolas climbed harder hearing the voice of the fellowship below. Gimli looked up in wonder at the elf nearing the top of the pole. Legolas grunted as he neared the top even more. Pippin started chanting;  
_"Go, elf, go. Go, elf, go"_ Even doing a little fist banging with it.

"Mysterious as the dark side of the moon." Legolas watched as Aragorn walked out of his tent an arrow stuck in the ground a few feet in front of him. He swiftly looked up as cheering began and saw Legolas sitting on top of the pole. _'Hmm, maybe you can make it through this after all.'_ Aragorn thought watching the elf.

"Be a Man." Aragorn watched in satisfaction as Legolas nailed every single apple to the tree without even seeing all of them.

"You must be as swift as a coursing river." Aragorn watched as Legolas ran ahead of everyone else with the most weight out of everyone.

"Be a Man." Once again Legolas and Aragorn were sparring. This time Legolas planted a kick in Aragorn's jaw sending him flying backwards. Aragorn rubbed his jaw looking at Legolas in satisfaction.

"With all of the force of a great typhoon." Frodo, Sam, and Merry were doing cartwheels over the poles. Aragorn nodded in approval.

"Be a Man." Aragorn threw out weapons once again and everyone but Legolas caught them again. This time Gimli handed Legolas his instead of knocking him down.

"With all the strength of a raging fire." They went through their drills perfectly. Boromir and Gimli ran without being harmed or tripped by flaming arrows all the way through the course.

"Mysterious as the dark side of the Moon!" Pippin did the perfect charge headfirst into the armored dummy without so much as looking winded. Legolas pulled out huge fish in both hands more than anyone else in one go. Legolas hit the Sauron target in one go at the catapult.


End file.
